My name is Natalie Hoglund, I am 29 years old, and I am a mom to 3 babies, 2 angels (Hope and Noel) and 1 living child (Blair). In August of 2014, we received the amazing news we were pregnant. I was healthy, young, and on cloud 9. The heartbeat was strong and the doctor did not recommend an ultrasound until 20 weeks. On December 6, 2014 (a Saturday) my husband and I went in for our routine ultrasound. We were so excited to see our little one for the first time. We couldn’t decide if we wanted to know the gender. As soon as the ultrasound tech placed the wand on my stomach I knew. Her face, her energy, her excitement drained from the room. I couldn’t see a large healthy child. She then asked if the doctor told us we were having twins. My husband laughed out with excitement. I followed her question with no, and are they ok? They were not.
On December 6, 2014, I found out I was having twins, and they were deceased.
I can’t describe the emotion I felt other than shock. Now what? What do we do? Are they going to make me deliver? All questions I knew the tech could not and should not answer. There was a phone in the ultrasound room. It rang. The doctor who was
“in house” two floors above us told me there was chromosomal problems with the babies and it will be “taken care of” on Monday by a different (more qualified) hospital. I had no idea what was about to follow. I wasn’t given a choice, options, suggestions by the doctor. I felt angry and alone even though I was surrounded by family and friends. Sunday-Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday came and went. 5 days with two knowingly deceased angels inside of my womb until I received help from a different facility. I was only offered anxiety medication and a lame excuse as to why the doctor was too busy to speak with me on Saturday (and the following days). It was high risk for the D&C procedure they wanted me to get, which was never properly explained. December 11, 2014 my angels were born into the world. Anger is the only emotion I can describe, and I am still stuck on it. I am still angry they are gone and how I was treated. Every day, I pray to God no other family has to experience that.
God puts people in the right place at the right time. Lauren McLean was styling my sisters hair Saturday at the same time she received the phone call about my angels. Lauren, who had no idea who I was reached out and talked me through one the worst situations of my life when I couldn’t even think. She gave me ideas to cremate my babies or
bury them. She gave me book options to read because she knew I was sick of talking. She gave me support group options such as the Mothers of Angel’s group which is now The Still Remembered Project.
Even though I felt robbed of the opportunity to love both of my babies alive in the womb, I feel at peace that they are with me every day. It took 7 weeks to learn of their pathology being Turner’s Syndrome. They were identical perfect girls, and always will be in heaven.