This box is so much more than just a box....

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On the worst day of my life I was given a gift I never would have wanted, but am so grateful for. It was a box. In that box holds some of my most precious memories and momentos. It holds some of the only tangible pieces of my daughter that I have. It was a box I cried over as I was wheeled out of the hospital, not holding my precious daughter as a newborn on the way to a home with family who couldn't wait for her arrival and to shower her with love, but sitting on my lap in her place. I hated that box that day. I wished I didn't ever need that box. However, having a box that my wonderful nurse at West Penn Hospital, Heidi, got for me as we were told the terrible news that my daughter had died was an enormous gift. My nurse was able to get that box for us and help us collect memories that we can keep forever, like a lock of her beautiful black curls we will never be able to see grow and bounce as she giggles and runs. A bracelet and frame to hold the few pictures I have of her captured by the photographer from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep of our only moments with her in our arms.

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I didn't appreciate it as much on that day, but so much more in the days, weeks, months, and years that followed. It gave me the knowledge that while my grief felt so lonely and dark, I was not alone. I would not wish that feeling/grief/loss on my worst enemy. Having a group of women who had also gone through this, thinking of those that would, and putting that box out there for me, was a beautiful gift.

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In the years that followed I too was able to come together with these women to help volunteer to put these gifts there for those to come after me. It not only helped me to process my grief and remember my daughter, but to feel that I was helping someone else hopefully feel a little less alone in those dark moments.

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It's coming up on 11 years since my daughter, Zoey Elizabeth, died. I will never fully recover over the loss of my daughter, but having a group like The Still Remembered Project has been an enormous help for me to move through my grief and forward. Not only for myself, but to also be there for my other children and husband. This box is so much more than a box. It's something to hold. It's a life line when you are ready for it. It's a gift from grieving mothers to others to let them know they are not alone. I am now so very thankful for the gift of this box.

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